| Pure Happiness. |
[May. 2nd, 2008|10:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
Moo Moo MoO
My fat ass needs to get to the gym. Too bad I have ZERO free time.. and the free time I do have I want to spend it with Payton.
*sigh* Maybe I’ll buy a lotto ticket and get lucky! Hahaha
So hopefully I’ll be getting this Stimulus check thingy… I could really use the money. AS for my last entry and the working part time.. I think I will just try and stay full time for a few more months. I have all kinds of medical bills I need to pay. Having a baby is not cheap!!! I THANK GOD I had insurance while I was pregnant…. JUST for the delivery the insurance covered 18,000 worth of medical bills! Granted I still had to pay quite a large sum out of pocket(close to like 2.5k) it’s a whole hell of a lot better than close to 20!
I have never been one to have high self esteem but looking at pictures from not very long ago.. sort of makes me sad. I am super unhappy with the way I look right now. I know it’s normal.. and I just had a baby not even three months ago but still.. it’s so frustrating.. not only that but I really don’t have time to go work out. .I love going to the gym.. I just don’t have any time to go. I suppose I could start getting up an hour early on the days my grandma watches Payton and go then.. but then there is the money factor! Haha UHG.. I guess I am destined to be a huge cow forever. LOL
Anyways.. things are pretty much the same.. I am probably the happiest I have been a super long time… hahaha
I have to say though, my FAVORITE part of the day is in the morning when Payton wakes up, and I tell him good morning and he just get’s the BIGGEST smile on his face. It just melts my heart. Haha I think it’s safe to say that you don’t know pure happiness until you make your baby smile just by saying something so simple as good morning. Anyways.. I should be working I am slammed today! So tata for now LJ! |
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| I love PAYTON |
[Apr. 11th, 2008|12:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
So I was reading last year entries.. and realized that I haven’t posted since I had Payton..
Haha Let me just say.. he is freakin awesome!! I swear he can be crying and I will still have a smile on my face! He is a great baby and I love the little booger to death!
Today ends my second week back at work.. and I absolutely HATE IT. I miss Payton so freakin much. I know he is being taken good care of but I don’t want to miss anything. He had his two month appointment yesterday.. and he has gained 5 pounds and grow 4 inches since he’s been born! He’s going to be a big boy that’s for sure!!! Aww I miss my little stinker butt.
I am getting my wisdom teeth pulled out on the 24th. Scary stuff. I am sure I’ll be in a lot of pain for a few days.. but it needs to be done.
I am going to ask to work part time starting next month(30 hours a week) And from what I have overheard the since I’ve been back they will probably let me do it.
I really don’t know if I should just stick it out full time until things happen.. or just go part time.
UHG… decisions decisions. I will probably try and stay full time for the rest of this month and all of may also.. that way I can catch up on all my freakin’ bills I have!!
ANYWAYS! It’s just about lunch time and my fat ass needs to eat.
(P.s. I am at +7 pounds of my pre-preggo weight, which isn’t too bad.. but I feel so freakin gross.) But we’ll save that for another entry. |
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| 10ish days |
[Jan. 25th, 2008|07:53 pm] |
Im getting excited for baby!!!!!!!!
I cant wait!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 26th, 2007|11:47 am] |
Well A lot has happened this year… and by a lot, I mean A LOT.
Started the year off with a New Years Eve party at the apartment in HB. It was a pretty fun night from what I remember. Barely settling in and getting used to living with all the people that I did. I think it’s safe to say that I was pretty miserable living in that apartment. Don’t get me wrong I had tonnnnns of fun but it would have been 1,000 times better and easier if everyone there wasn’t such slobs? Needless to say.. that apartment has changed my life forever(In more ways than one.)
Started the New Year being in a very nice committed relationship, and soon realized that it just wasn’t going to work out. Wasn’t necessarily a bad thing and I am thankful for all the experiences I got to have while in that particular relationship. No regrets in being in it, and no regrets in letting it end either after over a year of being with him.
I think saying I drank too much the first half of this year is an understatement.
After turning 21, finding out that I am going to be a mommy pretty soon, and moving out of the apartment I feel like I have changed completely. I no longer just have myself to look after but I have this little tiny baby to love and take care of.
I have lost a lot, but have gained even more. It’s a great feeling to know who your true friends are, and to know who the people are who are going to let you go when something in your life changes.
I can say that I was hurt the most by one friend in particular. I have spent hours upon hours trying to help this person get through his own problems. I was always there for him when he needed me regardless of what was going on. To have him basically leave and not even have the decency to tell me why he no longer wants to be my friend is really upsetting. I can honestly say that I have lost, what I thought was, one of my best friends this year. I guess it’s better to know now, rather than later, that all the time I spent trying to help him out with his problems meant nothing. At least now I wont have to put effort into someone that obviously won’t be there for me.
I appreciate and love my family more than I ever have before. Knowing that they will be there for me through anything I go through in life means more to me than anything else. I really don’t know what I would do without them. They really are an amazing group of people and always know how to put me in a better mood even when they don’t know they are doing it.
I don’t exactly know what is going to happen in 2008, but I’m sure it will be a great year and I am really looking forward to it.
I am definitely ready to say good bye to 2007. |
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| 3d/4d ultrasound |
[Dec. 3rd, 2007|09:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
So I went and had it done yesterday. The damage was $90 bucks. Not too bad!
Of course the lil’ booger was covering his face with his arm.. AND sleeping. My Aunt kept telling me that it’s because he is embarrassed because I kept saying he looked like a duck at my other ultrasounds. Haha We tried waking him up by giving my belly a lil shake.. he did NOT like that one bit. He bunched up his little forehead and frowned. Hehe
The lady said that since he was covering up and being shy and sleepy and since we only got like 4 good pictures that I could come back sometime this week and have a make up session! So I am going tomorrow night at 6pm!! I’m so excited to see his lil face again!
But yea! He’s oh so cute!!! (I may just be saying that because he’s mine, but still!!!! He’s precious!) From the looks of it he has the chubbiest lil cheeks and his arms looked like they had some pretty good meat on them!! He’s my lil fatty. :wub
I am so in lovvvvvveeeee |
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| 30 days... |
[Oct. 24th, 2007|11:17 am] |
UHG.. It's been 30 days since I have talked to you =o(
Hopefully the next month goes by fast.
<3 Miss you |
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| Baby shower... |
[Sep. 27th, 2007|10:50 am] |
The baby shower is going to on on Jan. 19th....
If you wanna go
Full Name:
Address:
Phone Number:
E-mail:
Gimmie info.. lol |
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| la la la |
[Sep. 13th, 2007|09:15 am] |
So my uncles wedding is Saturday! SO excited! All my family is coming! WOOHOO!!!! A few from Sacramento got here last night. Fun stuff! More are arriving tonight! =o)
Lovin’ the new apartment! I just need to get a bed now. Hahaha and I still need to unpack all my stuff! UHG.
I was looking online… and supppposedly baby is gonna have Green eyes(66%) or blue eyes(33%) hehe even though the rest of my family has browwwwwn eyes. But I guess we shall find out in a few more months!!! =op
Still don’t look all that pregnant… haha but according to the scale this morning I have gained 3 pounds since my last doctors appointment!! Which leaves me at -7 pounds since I’ve been pregnant. I can’t wait until this coming up Tuesday!!!! I get the good ultrasound! *dances* Make sure everything is growing alright in there!! Haha
My last day at Loehmann’s is a week from Saturday and Nick leaves the next day.. haha What am I going to do with my time then?! I guess start my scrap booking stuff? Haha *sigh*
Anywho… time to get back to work. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 28th, 2007|10:47 am] |
So I went to the doctors yesterday. Everything seems to be doing well.. lil “Paytons” heartbeat was at 150. I am going to the ultrasound place on Saturday with Nick.. Should be exciting! My next Doc appointment is onnnnn Septmeber 24th and I’ll be almost 21 weeks! Over half way done!!! Haah Right now I am 17 weeks. 42.5% done! =oP At my next doctors appointment I am getting the “good” ultrasound! Haha where they show me evvvvvery part of the baby =o) toes, fingers, mouth.. eyes! All that good stuff! They took blood yesterday to do the triple screen testing… hope all is well and it comes back negative!! I also found out that my blood type is O-… which is great for everyone else.. since all of you can steal my blood… but not so great for me. Hahaha Have to get a few shots… so that my antibodies in my blood don’t try to kill my baby(if of course he has a RH+ blood type)! WOOHOO
Doc said I need to eat more dairy.. so that the baby doesn’t start stealing calcium from my bones! Haha
But yea… All in all. Things are good… beside Coheed pissing on my bed.. damn cat. Hopefully I can finishing packing this week!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2007|03:25 pm] |
We got the apartment. It’s a little bit small but I am just so excited to get out of the HB apartment. I started to pick up last night.. and looked around and realized that not ONE thing downstairs was mine, and that I was exhausted, and just ended up going upstairs. I wish they would have picked up a little bit before they left for Mexico. OH well.. Nick came over last night… again… hahah which I don’t mind… LOL. It was a little awkward when Rameys little brother came over to feed the kittens and brough two of his friends with him. I was like.. uh.. who the hell is here… so I went and took a peek.. and saw two random ass people in the living room.. eating my food nonetheless.. and was like WTF?!!??! Then I saw Rameys brother.. haha So I went back into the room… and then they left… with good reason.. LMAO..
But yea.. Ramey said I could take one of the kittens! I’m so excited.. I already picked the one I <3 the most.. haha.. Such a cutie!!!
Too bad I need take it in because they have SO SO SO many fleas.. and worms.
UHG.. So I have two cat scratches which is noooot a good thing especially being preggers n all. I hope none of the kittens were infected! Cause that would be bad news for me =o\ I guess I will find out in a week or so…
Uhg.. I also have a spider bite on the back of my leg that is really irritating me.. UHG. I hope all is okay! Haha It’s weird how you would never care about any of this stuff until your body belongs to someone else… so strange.
I have my next doctors appointment in 1 week which is good. I want to ask a lot of questions.
Anyways, I saw peanut again on Saturday!! Haha So cuuuuuuuuuute!!!!!!!!! I can’t wait for what’s his face to see him! Haha <3 |
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| *yawn* |
[Aug. 16th, 2007|11:50 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Work | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  mischievous | ] |
Well….
I heard from J-HO yesterday, that was nice. I am glad to hear she is doing well. She seems like she is on the right track which is what I’ve wanted for her since the beginning. I wish I would have tried and helped a little more this time around… but I just had some many things going on in my own life that NEEDED to be dealt with that I guess sometimes you just have to put yourself first. I do regret it, but it looks like everything is going to turn out a-okay. The next time I hear from her I think I will ask her if she WANTS me to go up and see her… and if she does or doesn’t that’s fine with me. Whatever she needs to get over this.
I think I am going to go to target on my lunch break and buy a scale so that I can track my weight gain/loss. I feel like I should have gained some weight this week because I have actually been able to eat *some what* and have only thrown up twice!!! Annnnd my belly is actually getting a little bit bigger. It’s “normal” for really big girls to lose a lot of weight during pregnancy.. but I don’t think I should have lost as much as I have. I’ll ask about it at my next doctors appointment!
I went to the movies with Nick last night after work. It was pretty depressing. The movie sucked. I dunno… it’s weird hanging out with him unless there is alcohol or…. other :things: involved. A part of me still wants to “work things out” but at the same time.. I know with the way he is now, it will NEVER work out. He has gotten a lot better… from what I see anyways… and that makes me feel a lot better about him being a daddy but I still am not quite used to the idea of it. I am very very very very very very glad he is going into the Navy yet at the same time it is a little disappointing because he is going to miss A LOT. I am pretty picture happy as it is… So I’m sure there will be plenty of those but it’s still not that same.
I’m tired of being pregnant. I can’t wait for lil Payton(or Makayla) to get here. So I will be able to sleep comfortably again. Not wake up in the middle of the night 10 times and MAKE myself try to fall back asleep on my left side. Haha I want to eat lunch meat damnit. I want to be able to eat again. Hahaha
I talked to my mom this morning. We got the town house in Anaheim. We move in on the 7th. Which kind of sucks for me because I will be homeless for a week. Haha I’m sure My Aunt or Uncle wont have any problem with me staying over but it is still going to suck major butt. I need to call and get the electricity turned on for the 7th in my name.
I am very ready to get out of the apartment. In fact I have been ready to get out of there since the first week we moved in. It was fun for a while. It just kind of sucks when you get embarrassed to bring people over because “your” apartment is so nasty. I, for the most part clean up after myself. I will admit that I do not ALWAYS pick a water bottle up once in while, but when there are beer cans and bottles and trash every where anyways what’s the point!! Haha Blah anyways… I’m getting out of there in 16 days. I’m sure the guys will be happy… because god knows I have been pretty much a bitch to them. But whatever… the only thing that I REALLY bitch about is the littler box and the dishes and them being loud at 2 in the morning. And that’s mostly because I can get really sick from the littler box being preggers and all. They have actually been pretty good about the noise thing for the past two weeks which has been nice and I really do appreciate it although I don’t really show it.
Hrrmm… Well it is almost my lunch time, Chinese sounds good(which is exciting since I haven’t been able to even think about eating it) Shrimp n broccoli with steamed rice.. YUMMY.. then off to target I go!!
For some reason I want to keep writing, but don’t really have much to write about.
Haha Matt IMed me last week.. that was pretty interesting.. he’s trying to get me to name Payton, Matthew Andrew…. Haha YEA RIGHT. =op
Well it’s noonish! Off to eat I go! |
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| And the cycle begins again today... |
[Aug. 14th, 2007|08:27 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Worrrrkk | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Modest Mouse-Dashboard | ] |
I enjoyed it for what it was.
I don’t expect anything to change.
I wouldn’t mind if it did though.
The way things were this morning, I am not getting my hopes up.
A nap is definitely in my near future.
A banana made me cry yesterday.
I almost feel gross.
I ate this morning! That was exciting.
I am 37.5% done with my pregnancy.
15/40 weeks today.
18 days until I move.
2 days until I get another pay check.
7 hours and 46 minutes until I get to go home.
I am sooo glad I don’t have work tonight.
I want to go swimming.
I actually got to work early today despite getting up late.
I am debating whether or not to get another ultrasound this weekend.
I almost want to go every two weeks.
I have decided that I am not going to settle.
I don’t just want anything.
I want it to be meaningful and worth the effort.
Anyways…
Awwww Lil kicks!! I was sitting here at work going over artwork and I felt lil kicks!!! Haha WOOHOO I <3 Peyton! Hahaha I don’t care who likes it, or who doesn’t I <3 the name Peyton and that’s that.
So Nick and I decided on Michael Peyton…. BUT.. We are going to call him Peyton… If we were to put Peyton first on the birth certificate his initials would be P.M.S. hahaha And I don’t think that’s such a good idea hahaha WOOHOO!! =oD |
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| pregnancy... |
[Aug. 7th, 2007|11:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
hahaha Is freakin' weird....
All I want to do is Eat, Sleep and have Sex.
WTF. |
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| hehehe |
[Aug. 6th, 2007|04:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hungry | ] |
I posted pictures of my peanut on my myspace! WOOHOO!!
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 |
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| haha |
[Aug. 4th, 2007|08:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
Funny how words that were written for 1/12 of the population can really relate to what you are personally going through.... and actually make you have a better day in return
The beauty you see in someone else's romance is completely an illusion. What you're experiencing right now is a classic 'grass is greener' situation, and you are wasting your energy on being jealous of what they have -- because they have nothing special. There's a lot of fear at play in their life, and you should see their relationship as a cautionary tale. Do not settle for less than you are worth just because you are afraid that nothing better will ever come along. |
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| Yep |
[Aug. 1st, 2007|10:49 am] |
All I want is to be happy and excited for this. Most of the time I am.
Today, however, is a different story.
I finally got a good night of sleep last night, and it still wasn’t enough. I am still freakin’ tired as shit, and if I were at home you could bet I would be in bed passed out.
I dropped off a letter at Nick’s house last night. It had my first two doctor bills in it along with a letter. The letter wasn’t mean. I was very calm when I wrote it for some reason. All it really was, was a letter about what happened on Monday and asking him to call me if he wants to go with me to my ultrasound on Saturday. Alas, no response. Not even a call to make sure that everything was okay with the little one.
It’s pretty depressing because it’s official, I am in this alone and there is nothing I can do about it now. It’s not like I am asking him to be with me, I am asking him to be in his child’s life. Which is obviously too much to ask. I don’t understand how some guys actually think they have a choice whether or not they want to be in their kids life. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe I am just over thinking everything. Too many things going on between the move, and the baby and what not. Not to mention the emotional wreck I have become. Thanks hormones.
Anyways, I found out yesterday that my Aunty to be is having a little boy!! =oD I’m so excited for her!! Layden Santos Gonzales. Hahaha Too cute.
Hahah My family and I are obviously building an army.
Grandma & Grandpa
Ricky, Annette, Bernie, Sammie, Lizzie, Linda, Andrew, Brenda
Beth-Joey, Crystal-Tiffany-Mary-Sylvia-Janice-Cassie, Randall-Sergio-Corine, No Kids, Me, Reece-Riley, Chris-Layden, Olivia-Eddie-Sophia
Garret, Aiden-Lily, And My little nameless one.
If I am not mistaken… that is a lot of immediate family. LOL.. I <3 my family!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
I don’t know why I decided to write that all out.. but it sounded fun at the time. As you can probably see, Christmas time is a killer.. hahaha Secret Santa anyone?
P.s. My baby doesn’t like Mexican food. |
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| Trip to the Docs... |
[Jul. 30th, 2007|09:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relieved | ] |
I was supposed to have my appointment next week, but I was cramping since Friday...
I called this morning, and asked if they could see me ealier...
I got there, told them my symptoms... and they said it could be an UTI or a bladder infection... so they made me go pee in a cup... LOL.. the fast results came back negative.... so they said they would send it to the lab (great another 70 bucks down the drain!) Anywho...
they say, well since your here, and you are cramping, we will try and find the babys heart beat... they looked and looked and looked.. and nothing... so they say, since I am almost 13 weeks they should find it, but they cant, so they are going to send me to the radiology or whatever to get an ultrasound....
I sent my mom a text telling her what was up, and Nicole calls me and my mom is like flipping out.. haha so I talk to her, and she is crying and then I start crying LMAO huge mess... anyways, they make me drink a poo ton of water and wait an hour untill it feels like my bladder is going to freakin' explode... and i go in, start the ultrasound.. and sure enough that little brat is in there moving all over the freakin place(im guessing thats why they couldnt get it's heartbeat) hahaha He's kickin me for like five minutes, probabyl laughing because I have to freakin' pee so damn bad...
hahah lil brat! And to top it all off.. the freakin lady that was doing the ultrasound kept freakin mentioning how full my bladder was.. I was like YEA I KNOW>... NOW CAN I PLLLLEASE GO FREAKIN PEE!?!?!?
So it's one!!!!! thank god! and from the looks of it, "he" likes to kick so that'll be loads of fun in a couple of weeks... hahaha
But yea... everything is dandy! Well except for the fact that I still have horrible cramps. |
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| So far Girl is winning!!!! |
[Jul. 25th, 2007|12:11 pm] |
Mary Boy
Crystal Baby Boy, Twin baby boys!
Joey Baby Boy
Beth Boy
Janice Boy
Aunt Annette Girl
Uncle Andy Girl
Mom Girl
Aunty Linda Girl
Aunty Bren Girl
Kimberly girl
Take a guess! |
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| Well, Here's to another day in paradice.. |
[Jul. 21st, 2007|09:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | hungry | ] |
-Work until 8
-Be ignored by all of my friends because they think I have some sort of crazy contagious disease
-Go home
-Clean my room
-Pack up some of my shit so I'm not overwhelmed when moving time arrives
-Maybe go sit down by the water for a little while
-Sleep
-Wake up
-NO F*ING WORK!!!!!! I am so freakin' excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no idea what I am going to do with myself tomorrow... WOOHOOOOOO!!!!!
I may be pregnant, but I am still fucking human...and yes, I still enjoy human contact.. LMAO.. assholes.
If any one wants to hang out feel free to give me a call.. |
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